Tag Archives: life

#prayforboston

16 Apr

What happened yesterday is just horrific. What happened on 9/11 showed us that anything can happen, and April 15, 2013 was just a reminder. It’s sad knowing we’re not safe anywhere we go and even sadder to know that there are sick people out there that are out to harm innocent people. But together we can make a difference.

I feel that Patton Oswald put it in words better than anyone else:

Boston. Fucking horrible.

I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, “Well, I’ve had it with humanity.”

But I was wrong. I don’t know what’s going to be revealed to be behind all of this mayhem. One human insect or a poisonous mass of broken sociopaths.

But here’s what I DO know. If it’s one person or a HUNDRED people, that number is not even a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a percent of the population on this planet. You watch the videos of the carnage and there are people running TOWARDS the destruction to help out. (Thanks FAKE Gallery founder and owner Paul Kozlowski for pointing this out to me). This is a giant planet and we’re lucky to live on it but there are prices and penalties incurred for the daily miracle of existence. One of them is, every once in awhile, the wiring of a tiny sliver of the species gets snarled and they’re pointed towards darkness.

But the vast majority stands against that darkness and, like white blood cells attacking a virus, they dilute and weaken and eventually wash away the evil doers and, more importantly, the damage they wreak. This is beyond religion or creed or nation. We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We’d have eaten ourselves alive long ago.

So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, “The good outnumber you, and we always will.”

In times like this we need to remember to keep our faith. Not question God, but pray for help, peace, and understanding. My heart goes out to the victims and their families. I’m praying for those in Boston, and that one day we may be able to prevent such situations from happening again.

Depression & Anxiety

10 Apr

I pity the fool who says depression is just an act for attention. It’s far from that. Depression is not a choice. It can be induced by chronic stress or absolutely nothing at all. Maybe people will never understand it until they’re forced to go through it.

After I was diagnosed with a rare heart condition, I went through a long, hard stage of depression and anxiety. Depression alone is hard to deal with so you can imagine what I dealt with having anxiety, too. I never in a million years thought I would make it through the darkness. I couldn’t be around my own family without feeling anxious. And having an episode of heart palpitations in a restaurant didn’t help either; I couldn’t eat out at a restaurant for months. It was that bad. I couldn’t hang out with friends, even the ones I was closest to. I constantly felt out of breath and had trouble breathing. The only thing I felt comfortable doing was laying in my bed. I ended up having to take an anti-depressant.. at age 14. 

I can finally say that I’ve overcome the darkest days of my life. I don’t have to rely on medicine anymore. But looking back, I’m glad I went through it. I’m glad I can relate to those who are suffering so that I can provide the help they need because I’ve been through it. I’ve experienced the pain that they are going through. And I’m here to show them it will be light again soon.

Please do not judge someone because of their condition or lack of motivation to cry for help. Instead, be there for them and allow them to hear the words, “you are not alone, and you will get through this if you allow someone to help you”. You’d be surprised by the difference you could make.

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Grateful

26 Mar

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Too often we take what we have for granted.

Life, for example. Waking up each morning is a true gift. Each day should be lived as if it were our last. Instead of moping around, seize the day.
Love. I believe it is the absolute best feeling one can feel. Not everyone experiences true love, so if you have a significant other be thankful. Be a best friend. Be honest. Overuse “I love you”.

Infinite

23 Mar

I’ve realized a lot lately. As much as I want things to be 100% perfect, that will never happen. And that’s fine, that’s life. Nothing is perfect. I try to control things. I want my relationship to be perfect; I don’t want it to end. I don’t want anything to come between us. But I feel as hard as I try to prevent that, I just end up digging myself in a bigger hole.

Every couple has their fights. Even a happily married couple has their ups and downs. And that’s normal. Honestly, what two humans are going to get along perfectly 24/7, especially a male and female? Being overly insecure isn’t going to get you anywhere. If anything, it’ll get you gone. 

I’ve never had something so real and so amazing before. I just can’t let anything or anyone come between us. But I need to play my role and stop worrying about everyone else; at this point they are all irrelevant. All that matters is you and I from here on out.

 

 

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Perfection

8 Mar

Nobody’s perfect. We’re all full of flaws, but recognizing them and accepting each other for who we really are is what makes us flawless. When you find someone with all the traits and qualities you love, they become flawless. They’re perfect in your eyes due to the simple fact of what they have to offer. 

What I don’t understand is how someone can repeatedly put you down and point out your flaws every day of the year. You work your ass off to help them, but that goes unnoticed. You cry and you’re called weak. You open up for the first time ever, and you “talk to much”. You vent, you’re a hypocrite. 

I thought maybe I was the one in the wrong. Maybe I was this fucked up individual who didn’t know how to act. I would literally stay awake wondering how to be “normal”. I couldn’t speak on anything to the one I thought I could open up to, because no matter what I said, I would be wrong. Eventually that breaks you down. I’m insecure on my own, I don’t need someone to constantly point out everything that is wrong with me. There is a fine line between constructive criticism and saying demeaning things just to break someone down. 

At the end of the day we have to accept each other for who we are. Understand where that person comes from, what that person is going through. Appreciate what they do for you, not just of what you ask, but what they go out of their way to do. Give recognition when it’s needed. 

So I hope you find someone who’s “perfect”. Someone who doesn’t cry. Someone who isn’t weak. Someone who doesn’t open up to you. Someone who isn’t a hypocrite. Someone who isn’t immature. Good luck.